I have to admit-I'm jealous

I love my son and would very honestly NEVER change a thing about him but I cant help but experience bouts of jealousy on a regular basis. I see Connor every day and never bat an eye at his delays. They don't seem that significant to me when it's just us.
We had a huge weekend of birthday parties this past weekend and it was like a giant slap in the face. There were tons of children there and I was shocked at how much bigger, older and more independent they were compared to my son. Some where even born on the same day as him.
Connor had a blast as did we but I felt so sad when he wanted so bad to climb on the little play motorcycle and couldn't and then a 16 month old little boy had no problem. Connor doesn't know any different but I do. He gets so mad that he cant do something and I have to sit there and fight back tears.
I never say this out loud to anyone other then my family but-IT'S NOT FAIR.
Connor is making leaps and bounds of progress and I hope with all my soul that someday he will catch up and the struggle will be over.
I don't think of myself as a jealous person but, seeing these other children do things so naturally while my son struggles to do things they did 6 months ago aches me.
I wish there was some way to replace missing chromosomes and genes in humans.

Vent Away

So I cant stop thinking about the "what if's" and they happen to be driving me batty.
What if Connor's peditrician had noticed the ridge in his forehead sooner? I noticed it pretty much at birth (they think his sutures were already closed then) but I didnt think anything of it because I didnt know it was something to be concerned about. Would Connor's brain NOT be underdeveloped if we had noticed sooner?
What if we had gotten Con into the Regional Center at an earlier age? Would he be making even more progress?
What if I had done something differently? Maybe I was too old to have a child? Did I cause this chromosome to be missing?
I cant find any support groups out there to help ease my mind and everyone around me seems to think he is just fine. I KNOW he is fine but at the same time, he needs lots of help and work just to do what other 17 and 18 month old children do on there own and even then, he cant really do them.
He was saying a few words a few months ago and those seem to be foreign to him now. He does pick up words here and there but, will they leave his vocabulary?
What does it mean when they say his brain is underdeveloped? I assume there is no damage so then-FIX IT! Develope that brain.
What if Connor gets teased? What will I do? I cant tell that child to stop. I cant talk to his/her parents but that is about it. All I can do is tell my child that he is absolutly the way he should be.
What if I didnt worry so much?

Our trip to the L.A. County Fair

We took C on his first trip to the Los Angeles County Fair. We go every year and are looking forward to sharing the tradition with Connor. It is good fun, food and shopping.
Connor had a blast. We had a slight mishap at the beginning when daddy put too much sun screen on his face but after a good clean up and quick nap we were off to enjoy the day.

The internet has upset me

My husbands birthday is on Tuesday, Sept. 8. I have been ordering a variety of things that I know he would like from the Internet since the beginning of August. I ordered them all from sites I have ordered from before knowing I had PLENTY of time.
I would say on or about the fourth of fifth of August, Eric found some sort of Marvel hardback comic book thing that I could tell he really wanted. As soon as he left the room I hopped onto the net and ordered it. This was ordered from a site I have never ordered from before but get their catalogue all the time.
I have yet to even receive and email stating it has been shipped. They have already taken the money from my account. I go to the site and I punch in the confirmation number and the only info I get is "READY TO SHIP". This thing has been ready to ship since August 20. What the heck people. We have a birthday here.
Lets go!
I am now convinced Eric will not be getting his comic book by Tuesday.
I no longer trust internet shopping.